Everything in life is multiplied by 100 when you're a parent.

The first thing to come to my mind is a scene from Family Guy. The scene where Brian is with Peter and the guys at the Drunken Clam, and they're watching on the news, a plane crashing into a school. Brian goes crazy screaming, now that I'm a father I just can't imagine, what if that were my son. [I'd upload the video, but I can't find it.] He just gets really annoying saying it over and over. This is not how I react to things now, at least I hope. I will say, however, that things are multiplied by 100. Not just the scary things, but the good things as well.

  Tonight [Friday, March 23, 2012] was our usual "Date Night". We ran a few errands with Chester, then took him to my Mom's after we ate, so she could watch him. We always enjoy getting out for a bit, just the two of us. Usually it's dinner and a movie, but since we had already eaten, it was just the movie and grocery shopping afterwards. Craig was particularly excited because we were finally going to see 21 Jump Street. I was just happy to be getting out, just the two of us. When we headed to the movie theater, the weather was just fine. There were some puffy clouds, but nothing showed signs of the weather turning into something bad. About 25 or so minutes [not counting credits] into the movie, my Mom and sister were texting me telling me we had a tornado warning out. At first it was for the next three minutes. Then my Mom send me another message saying it was out for 20 minutes. I wasn't too concerned since we get them often, so I just tried enjoying the movie. Next thing we know, the movie shut off and the lights came on. I figured it was because of the storm, but I didn't know what was about to happen. Craig went out to see what was going on, and a few other people went out as well. One guy came back in and said they were moving everyone into the inner theaters because there was a tornado warning.

  Panicked, I gathered my things and went to find my husband. By this time, the situation was starting to hit me. There was a real warning, and a tornado was an obvious threat at this point. Once finding my husband, we went into one of the inner theaters. After being there for only a minute or two, I started getting extremely nervous because I couldn't get any service on my phone. We decided to go into the lobby of the theater so Craig could use the restroom, and I could get my Mother on the phone to see what was going on. Nobody at the theater would tell us anything about the weather, they just insisted we move into the inner theaters. So finally I got my sister on the phone and she told me everything was fine, but they spotted a tornado about 15 minutes away. This didn't help my panicked state. In fact, it probably made it worse. I thought a tornado would hit the theater, and I would never see my baby boy again. She assured me they were alright, and that the weather was fine by my Mom's house. That was a surprise because it was pouring rain at the movie theater.

  We decided to move back into the hall, but stay close enough to a door so we could get service on our phones in case things got worse. Every time we were close to a door, an employee asked us to move away. Almost in tears, I refused to go back where my phone wouldn't work. The husband calmly explained we had a 4 month old who was out in the weather. [Not actually out and about, but at my Mom's.] So they were understanding and let us be. Eventually we headed back into one of the inner theaters, because they were making everyone move. This told me that things were getting more serious.

  After some time of sitting and waiting, a woman came in, telling us the warning was going to be lifted soon. She told us to have our ticket stubs ready so they could get everyone back to the correct theater. A few minutes later the rain picked up, and sounded even worse than before. Then it started getting quiet, which is a bad sign when it comes to tornadoes. After just a few moments, we decided to go back out to the lobby so I could attempt a call to my sister again. Once I got her on the phone, she informed me they were still doing fine, but that it was hailing. At this point I just felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to race to my Mom's house to protect my baby boy. I just wanted to be with him every second of the storm, even though I knew he was being taken perfectly good care of, and they wouldn't let anything happen to him. Finally, after watching the weather channel for a bit, my sister assured me the storms were moving [Northeast] up and over. [Lol] I convinced myself it would be alright to stay and finish the movie, then go pick him up.

  So we attempted to go back into the theater, but the screen was still off and the lights, still on. We went to find an employee to see if they were going to turn the movies back on anytime soon. They informed us that they wouldn't be back on until the next showing. This really got on our nerves. Why would they make us wait hours to see a movie we already paid for. We didn't have that kind of time. They told us we could get our money back and see our movie at another time. This really made Craig angry, because he had waited all week to see this movie. We both thought the first [only part we got to see] 30 minutes of the movie were hilarious. We decided to just go to my Mom's and pick Chester up and go home. The movie could wait until tomorrow, as long as we weren't stuck in that dang theater any longer. Especially if the weather was still going to be bad, we wanted to be with our son. As soon as we arrived at my Mom's house, I rushed to my little baby and hugged and kissed him. I was a wonderful feeling, seeing him safe and sound.

  Maybe things like this will get easier, the longer I'm a Mother. I don't have high hopes for that, especially being a first time mother. Everything is multiplied by 100, especially the love and happiness he brings.

-Katie 

Trip to the zoo, and breastfeeding in public.

  So yesterday, Tuesday, March 20, 2012 [I realize this is "technically" written on Thursday, but it's still Wednesday to me until I fall asleep.] we went to the zoo. I was so excited to get Chester out of the apartment and out into the world. The park just wasn't cutting it for me anymore. We got up, got gas in the car, went to the bank, grabbed a quick bite to eat, got the oil changed, and we were finally on our way. It was only a little more than an hour drive, which I was patient enough for. Chester was a good baby and slept the entire way there, so that was another plus. He had nursed before we left, so he would be fine for 3-5 hours. He has is own schedule of when he eats, so I follow his lead. It was such a nice day! Not too hot, just perfect. I was excited to see the giraffes, since they're my favorite animal. They're such gorgeous creatures. I can't get enough of them. We started off at the "Oceans" area because that was the first as you entered the zoo. We saw the coolest, and cutest sea horses! We didn't go to the dolphin show, however. It's pretty much the same every time, and we really didn't have time to waste. Not that I don't like dolphins, because I do. I just wanted to make sure there was enough time for me to have extra when it came to the giraffes. Already, it was snack time. We stopped at the cafe for a hot dog and continued to the "forests" area, they only had one bear in the exhibit, which made me sad. He must have been lonely, sitting there all day by himself. My husband decided it would be best to go from the indoor exhibits to the outdoor, since we had Chester with us, and we could cool off after being out in the sun. Next was the "deserts" and of course the snakes were in there. Have I mentioned, I HATE SNAKES? Well I do, they're gross and creepy.


  After that, we noticed on the map there was a "Nursing Moms nest" and this sparked our interest, because we figured once Chester got hungry, this would be the perfect place to go. We searched for it, with no luck finding it, so we asked an employee who was running the nearby carousel. Here's how the conversation went [as best as I can remember]; "Hi, I was wondering where your breastfeeding area was." "It's going to be right behind us, but it's not finished yet. All we have right now are the bathrooms." WAIT! What did she just say? I was furious. I turned around and walked away mumbling about how I REFUSE to feed my baby in the bathroom. It's not like I sit with my boob hanging out for the world to see. I shouldn't have to hide in the bathroom. I mean, I wouldn't eat my lunch in the bathroom, and I feel it's the same exact thing. Asking a mother to nurse her child in the bathroom is just wrong. To credit her, she might have thought I was looking for a private place where I could be alone. If that's what she had meant, she should have said it as such; "If you're looking for some place private, we have the bathrooms. If you don't mind nursing out in the open, feel free to do so, wherever." The way she said it implied I should go nurse in the bathroom. I'm not asking for special treatment as a nursing mother, just fair treatment. Formula fed babies can eat wherever they so choose, what's the difference? Before you jump on my case saying the difference is, the mother doesn't have to expose herself, I don't expose myself either. I've found a genius way to show pretty much no skin. I wear a thin tank top with a bigger one over. I open up my nursing bra, pull the tank top underneath down, and pull the other one up a bit. Once he's latched on, I pull the outer tank top down and around so nothing shows.


  I've struggled with breastfeeding from the beginning. I wanted to give up more than anything, I wanted to take the less painful way out. I stuck to my guns, and am proud to still be breastfeeding. I also struggled with breastfeeding in public. With the wrong company, I still do. I shouldn't have to feel ashamed to nurse my baby in public. It's wrong of society to make me feel this way. I wish other people who are with me, wouldn't get embarrassed if I sit down and nurse right where I am. You can't really compare this to other things that are "natural" either. Just because peeing is "natural" it's not the same as nursing. Nursing a baby is how that baby survives. It's not a mother trying to "make a statement" or see how much she can get away with. It's a mother doing what she's supposed to do. Giving her child their next meal, and make sure they get it when they need/want it. After that encounter, I was ready to move on, look at the rest of the animals with my family, and go. I wasn't having a bad time, I was just not looking for anymore human interaction. 


  Finally, the time had come to go to the "plains" exhibit! I couldn't be more excited, and by that time I had forgotten all about the woman.  I tried to calm myself and enjoy the other animals, and take my time. When we reached the giraffes, I'm sure my eyes lit up like a dog in a doggy toy store. We spent what seemed like forever at the giraffes. Some crazy women were there trying to coax them over towards us, but they didn't care much for their craziness. After the women moved out of my way I snapped more than enough pictures. We got a few of me and Chester in front of them, and a kind woman took one of all three of us. The giraffes moved a little closer than before too, so I snapped even more pictures. We went through the rest of the "plains" taking pictures, laughing, and having a good time.


  It was almost closing time for the zoo. So we were rushing back so we could hit up the gift store and leave. By this time Chester was getting hungry and there was no place to really rest and feed him. So we quickly got what we wanted from the gift shop and headed to the car. We put all of our belonging away, and sat in the AC for a while so all of us could cool down. Every time Chester latches on, he begins to sweat, and that's just sitting inside with our AC on. I had to give him a chance to cool down before he got too hot. So we're waiting for the car to get nice and icy cool. On both sides of our car, there were two vans belonging to the same people. They were having their snack, and loading up. I noticed towards the left front of our car, one young man just staring into our car. It was extremely awkward because I was about to start nursing, and it's uncomfortable for me if people just stand and stare.I'm not quite sure what's so fascinating about a woman feeding her child. I suppose since society has made breasts to be sex symbols, that's what most people these days see it as. When they see a woman breastfeeding, they don't see her nurturing her young, giving him life. They see a woman with a baby on her boob. This really disgusts me, and it doesn't "come with the territory" either. We aren't asking people to stare at us like freaks because we're breastfeeding. We chose the healthiest, greatest option to nurture our babies, and people should respect that.


  I want to leave people with the mindset, that next time you see a woman breastfeeding her child; don't stop and stare, don't give her dirty looks, and DO NOT ask her to go elsewhere to feed her child. You wouldn't want to get up and move in the middle of your meal, don't ask a poor innocent child to either.

-Katie

The truck that started it all.

So after yesterday's events, it kind of inspired me to start a blog. Just kind of a fun way to share things that go on in my life with friends, family, and those who need a good laugh, or cry in some cases. I used to write in high school, so I'm hoping this will get me back to it. Before I go into what happened yesterday, I want to write a brief bio about me.

I'm Katie Fender, 22. I'm married [Dec. 2009] to Craig. We have a beautiful bouncing baby boy, Chester. We also have to chihuahuas, Dora and Diego. Yes, go ahead and laugh at the names. Dora was a Christmas present and Diego, well, he was too cute to NOT take home. I've always known what I wanted, and usually how to go about getting it. We plan out everything we decide. Our wedding, though we had a short time to get it done, had lots of planning done. Deciding to get pregnant, that was one thing we discussed, and decided the perfect time-frame to start trying. We had our baby boy, November 2011. As my friends and family [should] know, I'm very against RIC. [routine infant circumcision] It's barbaric and it's mutilating a perfectly healthy baby boy. I won't get too much into that right now, however. Not because I don't want to talk about it, because I do. I just want to save that for another post. I can't think of too much else to say about myself. I really don't like to talk too much about myself anyway, I don't want people to get bored. Haha.


So, onto the point of this post. What prompted me to start a blog in the first place.
My sister [17] is going to her first prom this year. I took her to a mall, bigger than the one in our town, about 45 minutes or so away. We had a great day, the three of us. [Myself, her and Chester] She tried on several dresses and picked her favorite, a beautiful, bright pink number, that showed some skin on her back. She looked like a barbie with her blond hair. Before leaving we stopped to eat at Johnny Rocket's [delicious] and changed a dirty diaper, then headed to the car. First, I'd like to say, I already have such a Mommy-brain. I sat my water on the top of my car, and forgot about it. When I drove away, I heard it fall. It scared the snot out of me and my sister. We then headed to Babies "R" Us, and carded the crap out of that place. [Carding is when we [intactivists] place circumcision information cards in baby stores, or baby areas of stores. Just the boy's and maternity sections though.] Afterwards, we stopped by the gas station to get a Pepsi, and were ready for the trek home. Of course after having a baby I've been more cautious and attentive on the roads. Not that I wasn't before, but I am more-so now. Everyone knows the left lane is for passing cars, and I was doing just that. I wasn't able to move into the right lane just quite, when it turned into a three lane. A huge Dodge truck was being very impatient and speeding like a maniac. He cut over to the far right lane, passed a few cars, and cut me off to get in my lane. He obviously did not like this so much. He break checked me [YES! On the highway where speeds are between 60 and 70mph]. This was the most terrifying experience of my life. Of course when I was going into labor, I couldn't imagine squeezing something that huge out. This was significantly worse than that, and a lot more painful. I was forced to pull off the road, and the jerk just flipped me off and drove on. Now, I have a Volkswagen Beetle. Could you imagine going about 65mph, having a Dodge Ram break checking you to the point of pulling off the road? He slowed down that much. Imagine if you will, my tiny Beetle slamming into the back of that Ram, and whatever car behind me, slamming into me. It would have turned out only one way, and that would have been three innocent lives lost in a horrific traffic accident. So there we were, sitting in my car, as others whistled past. I was HYSTERICAL, I couldn't believe what had just happened to me. First, I was pissed. I yelled out my window [which I knew wouldn't do anything] telling the idiot I had a baby in the car. Next, I bitched like anyone would do. Then finally; I cried hysterically, threw my seat belt off, stretched in the back seat -where my perfect baby boy was sleeping and cried, putting my face close to his. I kissed him and [half] hugged him [because the position was awkward] and sobbed. I told him how I loved him with all my heart, and how I promised I would keep him safe, with everything I have. After realizing we were still on the highway, I mustered up my strength and returned to my seat. Still sobbing, and now shaking, I had to sit a while longer. Finally, I was ready [for the most part] to get back onto the highway. I still felt ill, I don't know if I should have been driving. I felt sick to my stomach, and was having a panic attack. Unfortunately, my sister doesn't have her license, so I was forced to continue driving. Had we been closer to home, I could have seen myself letting her take the drivers seat. The whole way home, I took turns between sobbing, and being extremely pissed, yelling out profanity. The one thing that absolutely terrified me, was that if I hadn't been able to stop and pull to the side of the road, my husband would now be without me and his son. He would have lost all [except our dogs] of his family, and what for? Some asshole in a big truck thinking he owns the road, thinking everyone owes him something? How could you do that to someone. Even if he didn't know there was a baby in the car [I have a 'baby on board' sign] that's still something you shouldn't do. It put things into perspective for me though. I know now that people are selfish, and self-centered. Nobody cares about you or your family, except your own. Nobody cares for your well-being. If he had killed us because of a crash, would he feel guilty, or blame it on me. I know I couldn't carry that kind of guilt. It wouldn't have been a big deal, had it been just me. We're talking about a 4 month old, and a 17 year old. Both minors. If he had killed us, would he pay the price. Even if he did, he would still be allowed to say goodbye to his family, his friends. We wouldn't have had that chance to. This really opened up my eyes, and my heart. Knowing that in the blink of an eye, everything could be taken away. What would I have left the people in my life thinking. Would my family say I was a good daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter, mother, wife? What would my husband have said about me?
After the ordeal, all I want to do, is spend every available waking minute with my family. I want them all to know I love them with all my heart, and appreciate everything they do for me. If you're reading this, I love all  of you. I hope I show it as often as I should. To any one else reading this, hold your babies close. Show your loved ones you really do care. Life is too short to waste. I know I have a new appreciation for my family and friends.


-Katie